30 before 30

I am turning 25 soon and I’m already thinking about 30. HA! What can I say I’m a planner. I created a 30 before 30 list of 30 things I would like to accomplish before I turned 30. However I could only think of 22! I will continue to add to this list little by little. But for now here is my “22 before 30” list.

 1. Have 3 kids working on number 4
2. Run a marathon
3. Finish my degree
4. Disciple someone
5. Complete any major inside house project
6. Be a vegetable gardener as well as flowers!
7. Explore
8. Take a road trip to Grand Canyon
9. Take personal enrichment classes
10. Take on administrative role at work
11. Start something (book club , bible study ,craft club etc., after school program idk !?)
12. Take a mission trip with my husband
13. Immersed in Community.
14. 40 days prayer and fasting (from food)
15. Go on a fun couples vacations with friends/couple retreat
16. Learn to use Photoshop
17. Take lots of pictures of my kids (and print the pictures)
18. Landscape the outside of house
20. Blog once a week
21.Build a few really meaningful lifelong relationships
22. Put up a hammock  We ended up making a pallet swing! 

Forward Motion

I love New Years because it brings with it a sense of new beginnings and of a clean slate.This year I have learned some hard life lessons, which have been a long time coming. However they were firmly planted through 2013. Here are my top 4 life lessons of 2013.

1. Count your blessing...literally. You have been blessed no matter where you are in life there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.

2. Let every word that comes out your mouth be words that can uplift, encourage, or provide a meaningful contribution to a conversation.

3. Never compare yourself with others, when you do, you lose the blessing God designed with you in mind.

4. Contentment, the art of being satisfied in God and through God.

2014 I am ready for you. Ready to make the most of the people placed in my path and the relationships coming my way, ready to laugh, cry, fight, love, and create. But most of all I am ready to continue to be chiseled into the women of God I was created to be.

Contentment

God has begun to teach me the art of contentment, the art of having my heart be still and completely satisfied through Him. I have a home,food, and clothing … everything else is simply a blessing.

I have caught myself in the longing for things that don’t matter,at the end of the day don’t affect eternity in my tracks and reminded me that my thoughts should be on Him.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. “ Philippians 4:8b 

Webster dictionary has the word contentment synonymous with pleasure,wouldn't want to embody contentment?Maybe it’s a girl thing and we suffer with this more, but I know that anxious and sad because my mind has convinced me that I NEED that item. One of the biggest challenges for me has been eliminating all EVER. Essentially what that means is, if you don’t have the money you can’t buy it. There is no buy it now and pay it off later. That simple act has begun to teach me to be satisfied in each moment. It has taught me to live fully in contentment in the moments you are given,because, boy oh boy before you know it those moments are over.

Stress

Stress comes like a wind that overtakes every part of my thoughts and seems to captivate them. Not allowing me to move, but instead instilling fear. When I say fear, it is the fear of not meeting my own expectation.

Currently in my life my husband and I are working on refurbishing our first home, I am working full-time, and I am a full-time grad student. With every area of my life I like to give the very best of myself. So when I am at work I am giving 110% to meet my responsibilities same with school and our home. When I am only physically able to give 90% I stress. Then stress leads to moody Amanda, and nobody wants to be around short-fused moody Amanda. Stress is usually the first indicator that I have not been taking time to find rest in God. I have not taking the time to refresh and find refuge in the living God. I hate when I stress because it is as if I am saying to God; "I know you created the world and all, but this problem it's beyond you, I can handle it but I am not sure you can"

 Throughout the stress I feel the need to stop, but I tell myself I don't have time for that, I have too much to do, too much to accomplish. I forget the power that prayer can have over our everyday live.I forget that nothing else matters if I don’t have Jesus.

Today I will pause, and lean on the One who has placed me here for such a time as this.Because nothing else matters… Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Even youths grow tired and weary;and young men stumble and fall;but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles

Philippians 4:6,7 

                  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 40:30-31

                 Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Friendship

           Friendship, we all long for it. But as we get older for some reason friendship gets more difficult. You are not the same small child who trusted every kid that walked into your life. Now you’re guarded, it takes time and commitment to develop a friendship. Friendship is hard work. At least for me it is.

          As I grow older I realize that I long for the same types of friendships I had as a child, the friendships where you planned out life together, spent hours talking, and did everything and anything to hang out without each other.  A friendship that is genuine, true, and pure. But as I sit and write, I realized that I lack that relationship in my life. And I can’t stop thinking why that is? (Disclaimer***yes I am married and the relationship my husband and I have is beautiful, God could have not given me a more perfect match. That is not the friendship I am talking about. )

           We were created and intended to live in community. God in himself is three in one, He lives and breathes community, it's no wonder we crave it. When Jesus walked this earth he exemplified what it meant to have

close friends that prayed  with Him and walked side by side with Him.

              We need friendship.  Now the question is where do we find it? And am I willing to let down my guard down to let someone in? I guess what I long for is a friend that will be around for awhile. 

When I grow up

Sometimes I lose sight of the person I want to be... The last few weeks I have lost sight of that and because of it my life has been out of focus...I need to refocus,recenter my life.. 

I want to be ...

Fearless

I want faith that moves mountains 

I want to inspire

I want to create 

To lead

I want to be passionate, organized, adventurous, I want to work hard and be the best I can possibly be in every area of my life. I want to have goals. I want to believe that God is exactly who he says he is... I want to love, love the hurt, love the prideful, simply love.  I want to be that woman that when I  walk into a room I bring joy with me. God that every single person who speaks of me, may have to speak of you too.

I need to focus because who I want to be requires hard work and deeper dependence on God... And it won't happen in front of a tv... But with people, and in community .